Sunday, September 20, 2009

Too Much To Do

Do you know what I would really like? One day where I am not stressed out about anything. Today it’s Jack. I have so many things to do to my new truck and although I want help on some things, others I know that I can do own my own.

Take my front license plate, for example. I have a plate and a plate holder but I have to drill holes in the bumper an
d install it. Well, I don’t know how to use a drill, first of all. I was lying under the truck the other day, trying to see where I could put the holes (which I’ll also need those anchor bolt things – note to self) but I couldn’t see anything because the truck is lowered down. So here I am, feeling around the bumper trying to see, but I can’t because I’m not all the way under the truck which wouldn’t help anyways. My mom comes home and asks me “what the hell are you doing down there?” I told her that I didn’t have a clue. My, oh my, this is frustrating!

Another thing. I need to buy winter wheels for Jack. Well, it’s a 2WD pick-up (which apparently means something relating to the wheels that I just don’t understand, but whatever) and the Joker has told me that wheels will be hard to find. He said he’s been looking for the past year and half but can’t find anything because of the offset or something. He has a similar pick-up, but his wheels are five stud whereas mine are six. I’ve tried talking to my dad about it, but I kind of want to do it on my own. Still, when I do talk to him about it, somehow we end up talking about one of our four other vehicles instead. Excuse me? Were we not just talking about my vehicle? How exactly does the Kia relate to previously-loved wheels for Jack which we cannot find? I don’t want to talk about the Kia! I want advice for my search! My dad told me today that he never gets to see me. True, I spend about five minutes with you in the mornings and on your days off we try to have family dinners. The Joker told me to ask my dad about the wheels and when I told him I hadn’t told my dad about it, he said I was “lying by omission”. You see, I’m not purposely lying to my dad. I’m not lying to my dad. I never get to see him, so we don’t talk about this. It doesn’t count as lying if there is no communication!

Apparently, new winter tires for my truck are going to cost around seven hundred dollars. Wait just a minute: aha!!! Okay, so mini-freak out over and now I have to call around to these sketch auto-wreckers and ask if they have the wheels I’m looking for. I don’t know what I’m looking for!! The Joker has told me more than once what I need, but I feel so stupid having to ask repeatedly. He has given me so much advice already on the new truck, including how to go over speed bumps. In my defence, the truck is lowered down and rides about 2 ½ inches off of the ground which I’m not used to. How am I supposed to know about shocks? Stop on the top of the speed bump? I don’t know! He did, however, nicely bring up that he taught me how to do that in front of my manager and a co-worker the other day. I’m pretty sure I turned bright red. Thanks for that.

My air-conditioner, which I’m still not used to having, works really well! It’s great to have to turn the fan to the fourth level to feel any air circulating. Not. I told my dad and h
e suggested I call the dealer and get them to take a look at it. Alright, so I called and made an appointment but when I talked to the Joker about it, he had other ideas. Unbeknownst to me, it was “common sense” to check underneath the dash if it was a problem with the switch. “Just pull the dash off” was his suggestion. Pull the dash off?!!! How the hell do I do that? Why would I do that? My truck-driving father has told me to take it the dealer and the Joker’s telling me to pull the dash off. What the hell?! Then he said it would be easier to see if there was, in fact, a problem with the switch so I’d just have to go down to the dealer and get a new switch. Although, it might be a malfunction in the wiring, I won’t know that until I’ve installed a new switch. Suuurrrreeeeee. I’ll get right on that one.

I don’t know any of the lingo he uses and it all sounds like gibberish. The one thing I do hate is when he uses the “you’re a girl” argument with me. “Typical girl” he says to me. What is that supposed to mean? I don’t know how to do this because I have boobs? Well excuse me, mister asshole! Let me show you that I will learn how to do this and I will do it on my own. I bought the truck because a) I’ve always wanted a truck and never liked my car (except in the summer) b) I wanted to learn how to take care of it, and c) I was bored with life and needed a change. One thing I didn’t account for was the amount of stress and money that was going to come with it! I want to, no, I have to prove the Joker wrong. I’m not a typical girl and I know that I can figure this out.

I think I’ve lived in a mechanics bubble all my life. Dad has always had the theory that there are people who are paid to do this and since we don’t know how and have money, they can do it properly for us. The Joker suggested I take a Mechanics 101 course at the university. He was serious.