Sunday, April 18, 2010

peace out

Dear friends,

I believe my time has come to move on to a brand new blog. Truth be told, I've been working on it for a while now and it seems as though now is the right time for me to change direction. If you'd like the link to my new blog, please e-mail me ( and I'd be more than happy to pass it along. All the best in your future endeavours, dear ones.


I Pray For You

I havent been to church since I don’t remember when
Things were goin’ great ‘til they fell apart again
So I listened to the preacher as he told me what to do
He said you can’t go hatin’ others who have done wrong to you
Sometimes we get angry, but we must not condemn
Let the good Lord do His job and you just pray for them

I pray your brakes go out runnin’ down a hill
I pray a flowerpot falls from a window sill and knocks you in the head like I’d like to
I pray your birthday comes and nobody calls
I pray you’re flyin’ high when your engine stalls
I pray all your dreams never come true
Just know whereever you are honey, I pray for you

I’m really glad I found my way to church
‘Cause I’m already feelin’ better and I thank God for the words
Yeah I’m goin’ take the high road
And do what the preacher told me to do
You keep messin’ up and I’ll keep prayin’ for you

I pray your tire blows out at 110
I pray you pass out drunk with your best friend and wake up with his and her tattoos

I pray your brakes go out runnin’ down a hill
I pray a flowerpot falls from a window sill and knocks you in the head like I’d like to
I pray your birthday comes and nobody calls
I pray you’re flyin’ high when your engine stalls
I pray all your dreams never come true
Just know whereever you are, near or far, in your house or in your car,
wherever you are honey, I pray for you.
I pray for you

Jaron and the Long Road to Love - I Pray For You
Lyrics found at

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Short, sweet, & to the point

Our lives are made up by the moments in our lives when we are truly happy. It doesn't matter how it happens or what we do to get there; all that counts then is that we've discovered our true selves and the secret to our individual happiness.

My visit with T-Rex was shorter than I thought it would be. He left this morning at eight but I thought we'd have the whole day to hang out. Instead, last night we grabbed a couple of dvd's and a twelve pack and hung out on my couch until he fell asleep. We could have sat there all night and not said a word - I wouldn't have cared.

Through it all, it was like we'd known each other forever. I was happy and that's really all that matters.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Is it Friday yet?

FRIDAY. T-Rex is coming to visit! To say that I’m giddy would be the biggest hyperbole of the day. I am over the moon, way past cloud nine, and all of this just to spend 24 hours with one of my best friends.

He asked if we could all go out and have a couple drinks on Friday to celebrate his end-of-semester, so I happily obliged. The only problem now is trying to convince some of my other friends to come and hang out with us. Of course, they don’t have a huge problem with drinking, but they seem to despise T-Rex without EVER HAVING TALKED TO HIM. Oh emmm gee. I really wish that they could make this easier on me and simply trust my intuition. I don’t understand what they have against him, really. Everything that happened was my fault. I read too much into it. I didn’t say what I wanted. Me, me, me!! It’s okay, I know that they’re only watching out for me, but what they don’t see is how hard it is for me to know that they dislike someone who means so much to me

I told T-Rex that on Saturday I’m going to take him hostage and show him the best of the best of my city – not that I really care what we do. We could watch a movie or play paintball for all I care. As long as I get to hang out with him, I’m going to be one happy girl this weekend!

Friday, can you please hurry up??

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Just give me a minute to scream. kthanksbye

I don’t really know where to start. I guess it began a while ago when I felt God calling me (well, I thought he was calling me anyways) to go back to school. The only problem was that although he kept putting this on my heart to go back, go back, I just was at a loss when it came to deciding what I wanted to do when I got back there. I don’t really have the means to run amuck and take classes on a whim or for the fun of it. I guess part of the problem is that I still have so many options and opportunities out there that I don’t want to decide – if you can even call anything I do a clear decision – to take, say, major in business and then after six years of going to school part time after work decide that I hate my life and have just wasted it away doing something I despise. I suppose it’s because I want to be sure. Really, truly sure about anything before I put my foot down and announce my life’s plans. Honestly, at 21 can anyone have a life plan?

My friend is about to finish up a four year art program and was planning on attending law school. Not anymore, sunshine. Now she gets to spend another four years becoming a speech language pathologist or something like that. I don’t want to be like that. I want to do something I’m really passionate about and make money off of that but in all honesty I don’t know what that is yet.
So now, I’ve told everyone that I work with that I’m planning on going back to school (I’ve even moved back home!) but my plan ends with my plan, you know? Is it possible to have a mid life crisis at 21? Don’t get me wrong. There are a lot of things that I want to do with my life and thankfully, I have an extremely accommodating job to help me get there. I just don’t want to be there forever, I think.

I don’t know what to do. It would be so much easier if someone were to just tell me what to do. “Here, go cure cancer.” I’d go do it. “Oh, well you should run your own B&B like Lorelai Gilmore.” Heck yes. “Write a book.” “Become a social worker.” “Fight political unrest in Burma.” Done. Like. Dinner. But no. Instead, I have to lie awake at night wondering.

One day I’ll know.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

I'm Backkkk

Oh, my dear blog, how I've missed you!! It has been far too long and it seems as though everything has changed, somehow it's all just the same. So, I guess a lot has happened since I last posted.

I moved back home a couple weeks ago. Honestly, I really loved living on my own but I never had any money! Don't say it, I know what you're thinking (welcome to the real world hunn!) but I just think that this will be a better way for me to do all of the things I want to do (which are still to be determined btw). For example, I was thinking of going back to school in the fall. I'm only 21 and one of the things I want to do is earn a degree. It's kind of difficult to pay for schooling, live on your own, and work full time. This way, my parents are happy, I'm appeased, and my sister could care less.
I know, it's a quick briefing, but I really want to post on something much more important tomorrow!

Wednesday, February 17, 2010


Just in case you didn't know, the Olympics are in my town! Yes, ten years in the making, and finally we get to host the world to the greatest city in the world. (I know that I may be a teeny bit prejudiced but that's too bad).

AND I have tickets to an Olympic event! It's a women's semifinal hockey game on Monday!!

Megs and I are both taking the day off and since her sister lives downtown (as opposed to our hour long drive from the city) we're going to crash at her place on Sunday night. PLUS, there are concerts going on for the entire two week period, so we're going to hit up some of those too. And public transit is free on the day of your event when you show 'em your tickets, so yay for public transit! It's pretty much going to be the best day ever!

Cloud. Freaking. Nine.

the periods are for emphasis because exclamation marks are overdone. fyi.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Meet Me Halfway

Almost three weeks ago now, I went out with one of my best friends, Megs, to the bar for her friend's birthday party. I don't do very well with meeting new people and I tend to be quite quiet and uncomfortable until they open up to me. Maybe it's a trust issue I didn't know I had, or some underlying problem I with my father (not likely!). I don't know what it is but that's how I am. Once they open up and i feel comfortable around them, I don't shut up. Needless to say, I was quite nervous about meeting all of Megs' friends but excited too because I had heard so much about them and even though she was going to be the only one I knew, I really wanted to go (which was very unusual now that I think about it).

I met a boy. His name is James for all intents and purposes and he is really good friends with Megs. He bought me drinks all night, had his arm around me, and even walked me to my car at the end. He was funny, flirty, and a wee bit dangerous.

I Facebook friend requested him. He accepted.
I Facebook messaged him and invited him to my birthday party the following week.
He asked if Megs and I were going to the bar that week again and we did.

Then more flirting, more drink purchases, and more awkward moments (this time involving a security guard, James, and my face turning the colour of a tomato...)

The next week?
I Facebook messaged him and gave him my cell number.
We text messaged.
He came to my birthday party and met my friends.
He bought me drinks and had his arm around me.
He told my friend he was going to ask me out because he knew that I liked him.

Nothing. Not a single peep from Mr. James. It's been three days.

I am a very patient person and I think that three days is plenty of time to pick up a cell phone and call me. In fact, I think I'm quite the catch for Mr. James over here but if he doesn't want to make any effort this time, I know I sure as hell won't be playing the role of Desperado. I think we have great chemistry, and yes, one of the first things I heard him say was that he hasn't slept with enough women. Megs has told me too that he is an "open" kind of guy. Well, I'm an all or nothing kind of girl. Meet me halfway?

Am I asking for too much here? I don't want to initiate EVERYTHING. I sure don't want to come off as desperate because I'm not. I know that I don't need a man to be happy (I've survived 21 years without one just fine, thank you.) but sometimes it sure would be nice.

I really hate this. I'm constantly checking my phone to see if he's called or messaged me and I feel pathetic! This isn't me at all.

You want to know what's really bad? I've even downloaded some of the bands he likes. Seriously. Just meet me halfway...

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Take One

I know, I know. There have been too many pictures on here lately and not enough of me telling you what's going on! Well, that's mainly because I've been trying to figure it out.

That happens to all of us right? Something happens or you meet someone and you're not sure how you feel about it/them? Sure, they're sweet and really nice to you but is it a good thing for you to entertain? I mean, when one of the first things they say to you is about the lack of women they've slept with as you're downing the shot of jager they just bought, what are you supposed to think?

He's a little dangerous, and not in the motorcycle riding-pot smoking-break and enter type of way (at least, I don't think he is...) but I think he'll push me outside of my comfort zone and push me to try things I wouldn't normally.

Maybe I need to give him a chance. What can it hurt?

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

La la laaa

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Wordless Today

I have no words today. Hopefully some pictures will do

*Pictures from nothing is impossible

Saturday, January 23, 2010


I don't feel like I accomplished a thing today!

I went to the hairdresser, and she cut like, a 1/2 inch off my hair.
I bought hair colour and conditioned my own hair (so saved $50 right there!!)
I did some dishes, made soup, and read 200 pages of Twilight. again.

so totally did nothing. I tried writing some more, but it seems that as soon as I publicly announce I'm going to do something, my brain just goes into shut down mode. totally not fair! I can't have writer's block already, can I?

What if I get too personal in this? What if he reads it and finds out he's in the book?!! what if I never finish? I could get bored and stuck and give up.
I don't want to be one of those people. I want to do this. for me. this is my turn to steal the spotlight.

focus grasshopper. focus.

Friday, January 22, 2010

A New Chapter

I'm about to embark on a brand new journey. and I'm scared to death.

For a while now, I've been thinking a lot about my life and what I want to get out of it and all of those deep questions young people my age should be bringing up. It struck me like a ton of bricks the other night as I was driving home from a movie night with my friend.

I'm unhappy.

I don't know why (okay, well I kind of do, but I don't wanna talk about it) but there has to be something that I can do to shake this horrifying feeling. Since I've moved out of my parent's house back in November, there's just been this uneasy feeling inside of me I can't get rid of. I thought about it and prayed about it and then it hit me. I'm going to write a book.

It's the one thing I've wanted to do since forever and now seems like the perfect time. It must be. I'm having dreams about my characters! One is a nice, tall, dark and handsome Greek man named Matt ;) Either it's time for me to write a book, or I need to get a red eye to Greece!!

Of course, I'm absolutely frightened to finally put all of my daydreams down on paper. I do believe, however, that this adventure will be the journey I've been so desperately seeking. I hope so, anyways.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

If I Only Knew Why

I think Mr. Lawrence said it best.

[This ain't where the road comes to an end/This ain't where the bandwagon stops/This is just one of those times when/A lot of folks jump off/You find out who your friends are]

I was having lunch with a friend this week and he said something that has had me thinking hard ever since. His comment has me still awake at this unfriendly hour of the night trying to compose a serious answer to his in-passing statement. In the midst of joking fun on my behalf, he questioned my want to hang out with him. I had not put much thought into the subject, other than my Christmas card where I tried to say as much as possible in as few words as I could. Stunned, I managed to mumble out an unimpressive statement in which I expressed my unintelligence on the matter.

He makes constant fun of me and tells me everything I’m doing is wrong. There is little communication outside of work, and I don’t think I know as much about him as he does about me. We hardly ever hang out but when we’re together I think I talk too much about myself.

He is the one I can always count on. He’s that typical “nice guy” who would talk you out of a panic attack for half an hour and would text you before your plane left on your first-ever flight. He would answer any questions your virgin ears have about sex until three in the morning and offer to take you to the local sex store for fun on a Sunday. He’s the only one who can convince you to try sushi even when the thought makes your skin crawl.

This is the guy you’ve known for what seems like forever and who always had advice for you. He can make you laugh no matter how tired your heart may be and would never, ever judge you when you screw up. Yes, he’s that guy. The kind, loveable, friendly goof on whose bad side you never want to me. He will banter with you like there’s no tomorrow and tell you when you’ve done something wrong. This guy is not afraid to tell you what he knows you don’t want to hear because he truly has your best interest at heart. His opinion matters.

Something inside of me needs him around. In the depths of my heart, my head, and my soul, I have to have him in my life. It’s as simple as that.