Sunday, September 27, 2009

I don't want to talk about the Joker

I don’t really feel like talking today. Weird, I know. If I start rambling, it will be about the Joker and I am so sick and tired of talking about him. I have so many other things I could blog about!

The church service reminded me of him. Honest to goodness! It was a message that he and I have argued about many, many times, and I took a full page of notes. I even thought about texting him last night to see if he would be interested in going with me this morning (it’s an MB church with a Saturday night service and two on Sunday morning. I’m a rebel: church on Saturday night baby!!). I don’t know if it was God who put this thought in my brain, but I didn’t text him. Strange feeling to have, but I just am unsure if our relationship is at that level. Can I just text him and ask if he wants to go to church with me the next day? I just don’t think he’s ready for that, especially after our trust convo. See? Look at me! I said I was going to ramble about the joker, and I am.

Okay, new topic. Last Saturday, VWBug and I had semi-plans for a coffee date. I, unfortunately, had to bail and we re-scheduled for this Saturday night. Now she hates me, because I bailed again. Why this time? Family night. *Sigh* Please don’t lose your lunch, but it’s the only time the four of us can sit around at home and visit. Sorry VWBug, you don’t understand how important these nights are for us. They are a rarity, and hate me if you want. I didn’t know when we planned the night that it fell on a family night! Honestly, I have apologized five times, and she keeps replying via text “Okay...” Oh no you don’t! Don’t you dare use ellipsis with me honey! I can read that tone in your voice clear as daylight!!

The truth is, we hide so we can be found, we walk away to see who will follow, we cry to see who will wipe away our tears, and we let our hearts get broken to see who will come and fix them.