Monday, August 24, 2009

One Last Time

Perhaps T-Rex has selective memory. This is what I’m coming to believe because he doesn’t seem to remember any of our super-cute text message conversations that convinced me he liked me, but instead remembers asking me to come to his football game next month. Does that make sense to anyone?

I honestly have no idea how a guy can simply forget all of those conversations. How can you forget that you’ve been thinking about a girl “24/7” after just one week? He told me he was going to take me on a date, but I guess he simply forgot or found someone else. I don’t know and although I care (he is one of my best friends after all), it’s not something I find particularly helpful to dwell on (although that doesn’t seem to stop me!). I’ve already spent too many days trying to figure out what has been going on with him. I noticed the change as soon as I came back from visiting him. I’ve rarely talked to him since I came back which is so odd. I’m sorry to say, but no, I’m not 5’6”, 120 lbs with a pair of double D’s!! This is me and if you can’t be happy with that, that’s just too damn bad honey! I was myself 110% of the time while I was up there so I have no clue what happened! When we do talk, as rarely as it might be, he keeps telling me that he is really busy. I guess that is a fair excuse, but it still seems strange. (This is me NOT dwelling on the subject?)

We’ve been kinda-sorta talking these past couple of days, but that’s about to end. It’s time we play a little “tit-for-tat” with Mr. T. I hate playing these sorts of games, and he and I promised not to play games. Also though, he did promise me a ton of shit that just ain’t happening right now and I can’t take this anymore. I’ll just disappear for a little while and if he decides to chase me, he can do that but I’ve got better things to do than sit and wait around for an almost-nineteen year old boy to man up! I didn’t even know he was working until I read his Facebook wall today! HELLO! That is the kind of stuff I should be told, don’t you think? Okay, so I’m moving on. This is me moving on. Time to delete “I Just Call You Mine” (I fall apart and just a word from you somehow seems to fix whatever's wrong. You reach into the weakest moments and remind me that I'm strong. You gotta know I'd be a fool not to see or even worse to forget that you're more than I deserve) and replace it with “Used To” (We used to have this figured out. We used to breathe without a doubt. When nights were clear, you were the first star that I'd see. We used to have this under control. We never thought. We used to know. At least there's you, and at least there's me. Can we get this back? Can we get this back to how it used to be?) Perhaps it is a little disappointing and sad, but that’s how I’m feeling.

I guess we will see how he responds to this latest development. Probably just like every other guy I’ve used this “tried and true” trick on: they don’t even notice. I just want one guy to prove to me they’re not all the same. You’re just another silly boy.