Monday, October 12, 2009

Everything At Once

When I got home Friday, I curled into a ball and wept like a baby on my bedroom floor. You know those scenes you see in movies where everything that could possibly go wrong has, and the character has no other option but cry? Oh yeah; THAT was my Friday. ‘Twas the day everything came to a head and I couldn’t handle it anymore and trust me, I can handle a lot of crap.

Friday morning, I e-mailed Athena about the comment Mrs. O had made about the Joker’s face lighting up when he sees me. She tells me that it’s a race I can’t win on endurance and he wants someone like KH and when he can’t have her, I’m the ego boost for this parasite. She told me to get my head out of my ass and face reality. When I told her that I knew all of that, she told me not to lie to her and stop crushing on him.

The Joker and I are friends. I know this. We will never be more than friends. I know this. He does not want me. I KNOW THIS!! Thanks for making me feel about two inches tall. I shouldn’t have to defend my friendship with the Joker to anyone. After the accident, he calmed me down like no one else can. He understands me and knows when I need space or when I need a fricken hug! We are friends. I want to be his friend. That’s what I am. I am not lying. Why do people have to assume more?!

I called the body shop on Friday to find out when I could go about getting a rental car since I knew Jack was going to be in the shop for a while. The secretary told me that she had just talked to my Dad who told them I didn’t need one. Excuse me? Who is my Dad to tell them whether or not I need a rental car? What part of “let me do this on my own and please stay out of it” is confusing to you? My dad told me after work on Friday that there is $4,900 worth of damage to my truck. OMG. I caused $4,900 worth of damage to my Jack.

This whole homework thing, I’m still not used to. I had a homework assignment due Friday at midnight like every other week and I submitted it on Thursday. Since it’s an online course, they let you do the assignment as many times as you want to before the due date. On Thursday, my mark was like 85% or something and I was going to do it again after work on Friday, but I ran out of time. I tend to get very disappointed in myself easily, especially when I know that I could’ve done so much better on that assignment.

I guess Friday was one of those days where everything seemed to come at me all at once: Athena smacking some sense into me; having to defend and seriously evaluate my relationship with the Joker; my Dad butting into my life when I just want him to let me deal with this on my own; and my disappointment in my time management with my homework. So VWBug, Giraffe, and I went out drinking. That’s another story!


Nik said...

Oh no! I want you to know that I feel your pain! I hope things get better for you this week.

On a lighter note,
1. My car's name is Tonya.
2. It's OK to drink to relieve stress sometimes.
3. I really don't think men and women can be really close friends honey . . . see "When Harry Met Sally". It blows, but it's true. But in the meantime . . . it's still ok to crush and be true to your feelings. :-)

Much love chica!!

The Grasshopper said...

Thanks for the love! Things are going to be better this week: I can feel it!