Everything At Once

When I got home Friday, I curled into a ball and wept like a baby on my bedroom floor. You know those scenes you see in movies where everything that could possibly go wrong has, and the character has no other option but cry? Oh yeah; THAT was my Friday. ‘Twas the day everything came to a head and I couldn’t handle it anymore and trust me, I can handle a lot of crap.

Friday morning, I e-mailed Athena about the comment Mrs. O had made about the Joker’s face lighting up when he sees me. She tells me that it’s a race I can’t win on endurance and he wants someone like KH and when he can’t have her, I’m the ego boost for this parasite. She told me to get my head out of my ass and face reality. When I told her that I knew all of that, she told me not to lie to her and stop crushing on him.

The Joker and I are friends. I know this. We will never be more than friends. I know this. He does not want me. I KNOW THIS!! Thanks for making me feel about two inches tall. I shouldn’t have to defend my friendship with the Joker to anyone. After the accident, he calmed me down like no one else can. He understands me and knows when I need space or when I need a fricken hug! We are friends. I want to be his friend. That’s what I am. I am not lying. Why do people have to assume more?!

I called the body shop on Friday to find out when I could go about getting a rental car since I knew Jack was going to be in the shop for a while. The secretary told me that she had just talked to my Dad who told them I didn’t need one. Excuse me? Who is my Dad to tell them whether or not I need a rental car? What part of “let me do this on my own and please stay out of it” is confusing to you? My dad told me after work on Friday that there is $4,900 worth of damage to my truck. OMG. I caused $4,900 worth of damage to my Jack.

This whole homework thing, I’m still not used to. I had a homework assignment due Friday at midnight like every other week and I submitted it on Thursday. Since it’s an online course, they let you do the assignment as many times as you want to before the due date. On Thursday, my mark was like 85% or something and I was going to do it again after work on Friday, but I ran out of time. I tend to get very disappointed in myself easily, especially when I know that I could’ve done so much better on that assignment.

I guess Friday was one of those days where everything seemed to come at me all at once: Athena smacking some sense into me; having to defend and seriously evaluate my relationship with the Joker; my Dad butting into my life when I just want him to let me deal with this on my own; and my disappointment in my time management with my homework. So VWBug, Giraffe, and I went out drinking. That’s another story!

Banter Be Gone

Banter. Love it or hate it, it’s hard to escape it. There are always those people in our lives that can speak to us in such a teasingly witty way it can be hard to take them seriously. Perhaps it is because they don’t want to discuss anything serious and use this as a way of cleverly changing the topic to something playful. Maybe they don’t want to talk about themselves or would prefer to discuss one’s ever changing hair colour. Whatever the reason, banter has its advantages. Let’s not lie. If used properly, banter can be a great way to pass the time and it really can be quite funny. If it is used excessively, however, it can be quite exhausting. I know. You’re shaking your head, wondering where I am going with all of this. I don’t really know yet.

This entire week, the banter between the Joker and I has been excessive. It usually is, but for some reason it seemed to bother me. We talked about many things, from Jack to my boring relationship status. At the end of our conversations, my head is spinning, especially this week! Sure, he knows a lot of things about a lot of topics. He has great advice for me and when it comes to my truck, he knows what to do and is always willing to listen (or should I say banter?) Whatever you want to call it, this week I felt very stupid after talking to him. I don’t think of myself as a witty person (I have many witnesses to account for this!) so I find it very hard to keep up with him. Usually I’m able to keep my own while we’re talking. I like to find ways to prove him wrong because it is the only time I can talk to him. I guess it’s as normal as we’ll ever get.

I’m not sure why this week was so different, but I couldn’t do it today! He came by to talk many times today and I had to tell him that the banter wasn’t happening. He looked confused (and a little disappointed which I don’t like. This was after KH stopped by to visit. For an hour. With Starbucks. Bitch.) but I promised to work on my banter-ness. He wanted to know what my Facebook status was all about. Actually, he asked me “so what were you thinking?” About what?!! I think about a lot of things, and right now I’m not sure what the hell to think! Why don’t you clarify and tell me what to think, because I will do what you think I should. “about what? [enter awkward silence while he grins at me. Thinking. Still thinking. What the hell is he talking about? Enter lightbulb moment! My Facebook status! I had said “what was I thinking?” why does he want to know?] OH! My Facebook status?!” The Joker continues to smile, and repeats his question. I told him I couldn’t remember (sorry, kind of thinking about a couple other things at the moment!) and he tried some witty comments. When I wasn’t laughing, I apologized, but couldn’t banter today. My wittiness takes time, thoughtful consideration, and motive. I’ve got nothing, so too bad!

I am hoping for an end to the banter. My head hurts too much when I get home! We talk so fast and about so many things that it can be exhausting! Why can’t we just talk normally? This banter is on the verge of flirting and that is something the Joker and I need to stay far, far away from! Although I can’t ignore him (he makes himself known!), he knows how to push my buttons. Sure, there are days I love the banter! Now, though, I hate it. There is not enough Advil in the world to entice me to keep it up.

Joe Cool?

I don’t get bored very easily, but sometimes my mind just needs a little break. My muscles don’t want to move so what do I do for excitement? Refresh the intranet page. Oh yeah, I’m cool like that. They used to have a “Quote of the Day” but replaced it with some health tip thing. As if I care about going “green”; I want the quote of the day back!

We even have this cool “Buy and Sell” feature and periodically (alright, once an hour!) I check on there to see if there are any cool concert tickets or whatnot. Well this afternoon, I checked and saw that the Joker was selling his rice rocket, noisemaker, motorbike thing. I immediately e-mailed Athena: was he going to sell his motorbike and follow KH around the world? No, she disagreed. The $4,000 he was asking for would never be enough to keep her happy. Ouch. She added that it was too bad he was selling his bike because “it was the only cool thing about him”. Double ouch.

As the Joker and I were walking out, I asked why he had decided to sell it. He said that he only put 1500 km on it this year because he’s too busy with housework and his driveway and the like. It had become a $4,000 paperweight and upon selling it, he can help pay off his dad’s car. He said that his dad bought a new car, but it’s in the Joker’s name and always will be or something like that. It’s his dad’s toy. Intrigued, I asked what kind of car it was. “A ’64 Chevelle Supersport”, he replies. I gasp. Instinctively and completely, I inhaled sharply and then I giggled. I thought he was joking! That is a sexy car; there is no way it is owned by the Joker! I told him that I would never picture him in a car like that, and he asked if I thought he was gay or something. I said “No! No! I don’t know; I just would never think...” I asked what colour it was because that is the only thing I would be able to understand anyways. The rest is gibberish. It is currently a burgundy colour (I was thinking red or black) but it is originally blue. He said that he and his dad have to install the motor (well yes, it is necessary there buddy) and it was going to be the wintertime job. I told him to bring it to work so I could see, but looking back I should have just demanded a ride in it (once the motor is in, of course).

I’m sorry Athena, but a Chevelle is way cooler than a motorbike can ever dream of being!! The Joker has taken me completely by surprise this time. Who would’ve thought he would be cool?

Don't Let Him Go

I e-mailed Athena this morning to catch her up on some of the latest happenings with the Joker and I. I hadn’t talked to her in a while and desperately needed her to knock some sense into me! With all of his niceness lately, I wasn’t sure what was going on and she put me right back in my place. No more daydreaming around here!

She called a few minutes later with some KH news. Through the grapevine, she told me that KH has quit her job at the City and will be living it up with her sugar daddy. Athena told me KH had a profile on sugardaddy.com and she had been talking with a married fellow who has swept her off of her feet. He’s going to build her a house and take care of her every need (and something about Mexico?) So she quit her job. This is all gossip, I’m sure. Really now, doesn’t that sound too good to be true! Take me with you KH!! I don’t know if she has actually quit her job or not yet, but this is too good to be made up. Athena said she found out on Thursday and thought that might be why the Joker had been so upset. When I told her that he had been really happy, well, that just makes no sense then!

Perhaps I should join KH and find me a sugar daddy! I could use a new house and some champagne! I diamond wouldn’t hurt either...

Seriously though, if this is true, she is going to be his mistress? I’ve never met the girl and shouldn’t judger her without knowing her, but it’s a trait I’m not proud of and have inherited from my dad. I have heard she’s “free” but how would you sleep at night knowing what you’re doing is so wrong? I guess one might sleep quite well. Four post bed. Jacuzzi tub. Satin sheets. Candlelight. It just might be the perfect lifestyle: a man who is not happy at home or has extra money to spend, meet woman in need of attention. Yes, I guess that might work out just fine.

I wonder if the rumour is true! Good for you KH! I just have a little advice for you, in the form of a song of course!

So you figure that you’ve got him all figured out,
He’s a sweet talkin stud
Who can melt a girl’s heart with his pout
He’s the kind of lover that the ladies dream about

He’s got plenty of cash
He’s got plenty of friends
He drives women wild
Then he drives off in a Mercedes-benz
He’s got a long wick with a flame at both ends
He’s hot

Bud don’t let him go
Just give him a chance to grow
Take it easy, take it slow
And don’t let him go

Don't let him go